She breathes the sunlight in thru her pillow. Her hair spread out gently in a tangled mess. Her soft, bare skin takes in the light. It is these moments when she is most beautiful. I ache to touch her. To wake her. To take her. But I don't. I let the hunger burn. I stop breathing - in fear that my movement will take away this moment. She is irresistible and doesn't even know it. The pain in my chest is too much to bear, but I will bear it everyday. I will endlessly long to hold her when she is the most unaware. Completely vulnerable. But I resist. Its an uncomfortable bliss. I do it because its easier than thinking of all the opportunities I've missed. When she wanted me... when she needed me... but I was too stupid to realize. It hurt her that I wasn't there. I am sorry. I repent for this every morning I watch her sleep in ecstasy while I roil in agony.
